People who are going through divorces in North Carolina may wish that they could avoid seeing their exes for the rest of their lives. However, if divorcing individuals have children, they will probably have to continue seeing their exes on a regular basis. For the sake of the children, it may also be necessary for divorced parents to try to maintain an amicable relationship with their exes.
Because of their experiences, divorced people often have low opinions of their ex-spouses. After divorcing, parents may assume that every misstep their exes make is an intentional act designed to disrespect or annoy them. Assuming the worst about the other parent when he or she shows up late or changes the parenting schedule is bad for the children, and this kind of thinking can be a recipe for conflict. Instead, a divorced parent should first assume the best about his or her ex-spouse’s intentions and work on rebuilding trust.
Divorcing parents may have heard advice about taking care of themselves first so that they can be a better parent to their children. While this is important to keep in mind, a parent’s self-care should not go overboard. Children’s needs should always be the first priority, and it is important that a divorced parent’s emotional processing is not done in front of the children. Children of divorced parents should never be used as sounding boards or messengers.
Many of the types of conflicts that divorced parents experience while sharing child custody can be avoided if the parents work out a detailed parenting plan. An attorney may be able to help a divorcing parent create a parenting plan that contains provisions for holidays, birthdays and special events. This parenting plan may also contain provisions about how parenting decisions will be made and how disagreements should be resolved.