Is Nesting Right for Us?

Co-parenting is the most common variety of child custody arrangement after a divorce in the modern courtroom. However, there are many difficulties that come along with co-parenting. One of them is moving children between two separate residences.

Many families choose a “nesting” (or “bird nesting”) arrangement in response to this. According to Psychology Today, nesting is when the parents rotate in and out of the house and the children stay in the same place.

What are the advantages?

Nesting is a great arrangement for couples who are still figuring out what the post-divorce life is going to look like. For instance, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse can transition into a nesting agreement while you are figuring out where you will live after the divorce. This keeps life consistent for the children while you are making arrangements.

Nesting is also a popular arrangement for families that live in high cost of living areas. In many cases, parents will not be able to sustain single dwellings in a very expensive neighborhood. Nesting can help ensure that the kids get to stay in the same school district with the same friends.

What are the disadvantages?

In the majority of cases, nesting is not a permanent arrangement. Normally, one or both of the parents wants to establish their own separate living arrangement at some point. Additionally, nesting requires extremely good communication and a lot of trust between the co-parents: even better communication as compared to the majority of co-parenting arrangements.

Nesting is not for everyone and it is not a “forever” solution for everyone. However, it can be a good temporary measure for keeping life as steady as possible for the children while you are going through divorce.

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